2008 Woodie Awards
School Institutes New Companionship Center, Applications Up 5000%
By Bruce Bugbee
3/28/07 - Fool's Gold
The Colorado School of Mines proudly announced the next step in their multi-year campus revitalization plan this week with the unveiling of the first state-owned brothel in the history of Colorado.
The Colorado School of Mines campus has been torn apart by construction for the past couple years as part of the administrations plan to improve campus life. The most glaring project undertaken by the school is the construction of the new Student Recreation Center that is to be adjacent to the Ben Parker Student Center. This project is designed to alleviate the congestion faced at the current athletic facilities of Volk Gymnasium and the Steinhauer Field House.
The Recreation Center has come under fire as of late due to the seemingly continual pushing back of the opening day due to construction problems and bad weather. Instead of waiting for the Rec. Center to be complete, the school administration recently announced plans to convert the aging Weaver Towers residence halls into what they are affectionately dubbing a "companionship center."
No major construction will take place at Weaver Towers, with the exception of minor interior redesign to accommodate various poles, video camera mounts, hot tubs, mechanical bulls, and vibrating heart-shaped beds.
The renovations will take place this summer after classes release and will actually be apart of a joint venture between local brothel Madame Kimay's House of Pleasure and the EPICS Department that will allow students the chance to participate in the change and earn EPICS II credit.
The name of the center will be changed from Weaver Towers to the more fitting "Sexual Wellness Center". The building will be divided into three sections with the main lobby acting as the booking and reception area, the West tower acting as the "Classy Victorian" section, and the East tower housing both the "S&M Dungeon" and the "Gutter Tramp Central" areas. This is to play off of an already present attitude that the East tower is a lot dirtier than the West tower.
The Colorado School of Mines campus has been torn apart by construction for the past couple years as part of the administrations plan to improve campus life. The most glaring project undertaken by the school is the construction of the new Student Recreation Center that is to be adjacent to the Ben Parker Student Center. This project is designed to alleviate the congestion faced at the current athletic facilities of Volk Gymnasium and the Steinhauer Field House.
The Recreation Center has come under fire as of late due to the seemingly continual pushing back of the opening day due to construction problems and bad weather. Instead of waiting for the Rec. Center to be complete, the school administration recently announced plans to convert the aging Weaver Towers residence halls into what they are affectionately dubbing a "companionship center."
No major construction will take place at Weaver Towers, with the exception of minor interior redesign to accommodate various poles, video camera mounts, hot tubs, mechanical bulls, and vibrating heart-shaped beds.
The renovations will take place this summer after classes release and will actually be apart of a joint venture between local brothel Madame Kimay's House of Pleasure and the EPICS Department that will allow students the chance to participate in the change and earn EPICS II credit.
The name of the center will be changed from Weaver Towers to the more fitting "Sexual Wellness Center". The building will be divided into three sections with the main lobby acting as the booking and reception area, the West tower acting as the "Classy Victorian" section, and the East tower housing both the "S&M Dungeon" and the "Gutter Tramp Central" areas. This is to play off of an already present attitude that the East tower is a lot dirtier than the West tower.
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