2008 Woodie Awards
Not-So-Ultimate Frisbee Team In The Works
By Greg Smith
9/10/07 - Fool's Gold
"I like Frisbee," explains Peter Ray, a freshman that wishes to remain anonymous. "I came to Mines and wanted to join the Ultimate team, but all those guys are so intense! I wanted to create a team for people like me." And that's exactly what he did.
Peter has been practicing with his fellow Sub-Athletic Degenerates, or "SAD's," Tuesdays at noon and eight in the evening at an undisclosed location. "Being captain, I decided we should probably run two-a-days for a few weeks, you know, to build up our stamina and sub-par athletic abilities." Secrecy, for security purposes, is a big deal to the team. When asked if he was embarrassed about the semi-team, he stood firm. "We SAD's are a proud peoples. We practice intensely, take vitamins, do resistance training, and hell, I can dead lift the bar, and Matthew put up 20 kilos on the bench last week, didn't you Matt?" A high five was attempted.
The semi-Ultimate Frisbee team is comprised of 12 members, some of whom can successfully toss the Frisbee. "I was on the debate team in high school," remarked one team member just before being owned in the face by a stray disc, knocking his glasses free, only to be caught by a safety strap. The team then exploded in a roar of laughter, snorting, which quickly followed by a rush for backpacks and the unmistakable "pffff" of inhalers.
A hopeful Peter Ray left me with a nub of insight, saying "My goal is to provide everyone with the opportunity to enjoy the sensation that is semi-Ultimate Frisbee. I've even applied for NCAA division VIII athletic endorsement, but haven't heard back as of yet."
Peter has been practicing with his fellow Sub-Athletic Degenerates, or "SAD's," Tuesdays at noon and eight in the evening at an undisclosed location. "Being captain, I decided we should probably run two-a-days for a few weeks, you know, to build up our stamina and sub-par athletic abilities." Secrecy, for security purposes, is a big deal to the team. When asked if he was embarrassed about the semi-team, he stood firm. "We SAD's are a proud peoples. We practice intensely, take vitamins, do resistance training, and hell, I can dead lift the bar, and Matthew put up 20 kilos on the bench last week, didn't you Matt?" A high five was attempted.
The semi-Ultimate Frisbee team is comprised of 12 members, some of whom can successfully toss the Frisbee. "I was on the debate team in high school," remarked one team member just before being owned in the face by a stray disc, knocking his glasses free, only to be caught by a safety strap. The team then exploded in a roar of laughter, snorting, which quickly followed by a rush for backpacks and the unmistakable "pffff" of inhalers.
A hopeful Peter Ray left me with a nub of insight, saying "My goal is to provide everyone with the opportunity to enjoy the sensation that is semi-Ultimate Frisbee. I've even applied for NCAA division VIII athletic endorsement, but haven't heard back as of yet."
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