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Grind my gears: Northeast US

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Written by Jarrod Sparks

Posted on 10 February 2013

You know what really grinds my gears?
The Northeast United States.

Yes, I know it is an entire region, but there is enough of a uniform ideology up there that it warrants a complaint. First, they get a little bit of weather and the entire country has to shut down. You didn't see the United States take a holiday when hurricane Ike and Rita hit Houston, the 4th largest city in the country.You also did not see thousands of flights cancelled when Denver was receiving snow at greater rates than an inch an hour last February. Ultimately, these metropolitan-based people are too sheltered by their subways, concrete jungles, and fake tans to learn how to deal with adverse weather conditions. In Norway, people don't care about the weather; they will simply land on the snow.

Furthermore, the people in the Northeast are generally rude. Walk anywhere west of the Mississippi River, and the people walk proud. On the sidewalk, the population will walk with their eyes up saying "hello" to numerous people as they pass. Everybody in the Northeast wants nothing to do with one another. People will be literally pressed up against each other in subways from DC to NYC and take no notice of the other person. Just the other week, in the Denver Airport's short tram ride from terminal C to the baggage claim area, I witnessed what I will call the start of an epic relationship. This guy and this girl had the same bag, they stood right next to each other, and mixed their suitcases up when they got off of the train. Ultimately, there has not been a better romantic introduction since Pongo and Perdita got their owners tangled up in their leashes in "101 Dalmatians."

I acknowledge the Northeast's importance with regard to the United States. They control most of the money, and almost all of the government. However, there are certain things that they could definitely learn from the rest of the country. DJ Pauly D and the rest of his gang do not speak for the majority of us in the United States. Much of the population closer relates to Duck Dynasty. New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Washington, DC are all amazing places, but every now and again, people need to escape population dense locales and breathe fresh air. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.