Last week, school officials revealed plans to remove the front entrance to Arthur Lakes Library. The plan was officially conceived after several coffee cart patrons complained of the drafts. "In and out," said one anonymous note, "out and in! Is that all people do when they come to the library? Decide 'Today, I want to annoy those poor caffeinated fellows that just rolled out of their warm beds!"
This is not, however; the first time administrators have recognized the problem with drafty doors. "There are a lot of issues with those doors," said campus security official Isaac Vesseter, "for one, they provide an exit through which students can leave the library with valuables. Sure, we have those beeper things, but since when has technology stopped a determined Mines student?" In past years, concerns have also been raised over the doors' large glass windows, not to mention the constant opening and closing.
"As responsible stewards of the earth," said faculty senate member Owen Rogers, "we should not be wasting so much energy heating a building, only to have that energy leave through those superfluous panels of glass. Completely irresponsible."
At a more aesthetic level, the large doors and their accompanying security devices mar the smooth appearance of both the interior and exterior of the building. "You have this whole building," public relations coordinator Yvette Tanner explained, "with no doors... no doors... then suddenly, BAM. Huge gaping sore on the clean lines that every library deserves."
Library decorator Olive Williams had a slightly cozier take: "With that space walled over, we would have more room to hang our extensive collection of abstract and pseudo-Greek artwork. Heck, we might even have room to frame some of those jigsaw puzzles we've finished!"
The plan has been met with some criticism from the student body, who seem to think that they will be unable to access the library if the front door is walled over. "That's a misconception," said traffic flow analyst Eric Rowles, "based on the myth that there is only one way to get into the library. There are, of course, all those other doors -- wait, never mind -- those are emergency exits. But I hear that next semester's EPICS 1 teams will be designing a teleporter with tin foil, solar panels and, a $10 budget so, doors will be obsolete in a matter of months anyway!"
This is not, however; the first time administrators have recognized the problem with drafty doors. "There are a lot of issues with those doors," said campus security official Isaac Vesseter, "for one, they provide an exit through which students can leave the library with valuables. Sure, we have those beeper things, but since when has technology stopped a determined Mines student?" In past years, concerns have also been raised over the doors' large glass windows, not to mention the constant opening and closing.
"As responsible stewards of the earth," said faculty senate member Owen Rogers, "we should not be wasting so much energy heating a building, only to have that energy leave through those superfluous panels of glass. Completely irresponsible."
At a more aesthetic level, the large doors and their accompanying security devices mar the smooth appearance of both the interior and exterior of the building. "You have this whole building," public relations coordinator Yvette Tanner explained, "with no doors... no doors... then suddenly, BAM. Huge gaping sore on the clean lines that every library deserves."
Library decorator Olive Williams had a slightly cozier take: "With that space walled over, we would have more room to hang our extensive collection of abstract and pseudo-Greek artwork. Heck, we might even have room to frame some of those jigsaw puzzles we've finished!"
The plan has been met with some criticism from the student body, who seem to think that they will be unable to access the library if the front door is walled over. "That's a misconception," said traffic flow analyst Eric Rowles, "based on the myth that there is only one way to get into the library. There are, of course, all those other doors -- wait, never mind -- those are emergency exits. But I hear that next semester's EPICS 1 teams will be designing a teleporter with tin foil, solar panels and, a $10 budget so, doors will be obsolete in a matter of months anyway!"
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